Perfectionism Illustrated
In this inaugural blog post we will be taking a look at a common problem known as perfectionism. What is perfectionism? And is it our friend or foe?
To start, there are many definitions of perfectionism. One that I find particularly compelling comes from the work of Dr. Shafran and colleagues (2018), who define perfectionism as follows:
• Demanding standards and self-criticism, as defined by the individual.
• Striving to meet demanding standards despite negative effects.
• Basing self-worth on achieving high standards. In other words, judging your self-worth on what you do and not who you are.
Like most psychological phenomena, perfectionism exists on a spectrum i.e. it ranges from mild – where it may cause you to experience some problems, but is overall manageable – to severe – where it might have a nearly paralyzing effect on your life.
At this point, you might be asking yourself if there is a difference between a healthy pursuit of excellence and perfectionism. Indeed, there is. Shafran et al. (2018) suggest that there are two main differences:
In unhelpful perfectionism, the person’s view of themselves is too dependent on how well they think they achieve their own demanding standards, which tend to be very rigid, inflexible and very high. Additionally, in unhelpful perfectionism, people continue to pursue their standards despite negative consequences.
Example: You are studying for a test. Your goal is to get above 90%. You receive 70%, which is unacceptable by your standards. You conclude that you’re a failure as a student and a human being. OR – you meet your goal, and then, instead of giving yourself a pat on the back, you raise the bar even higher. Now 90% is no longer enough. To achieve this goal you are forced to give up socializing and sleep, and are on the verge of a mental break down...yet you continue to push yourself harder. Not a good situation.
The problem with perfectionism is that, essentially, it functions like a well-designed trap:
If you both pursue your goals relentlessly and dismiss any achievement, you are in a “no win” situation: you’re likely to feel a failure whether you actually meet your standards or not (Rozental, 2020).
Paradoxically, then, even though perfectionism drives you to work hard to avoid feeling like a failure, it makes you feel as though you are on the brink of failure, or indeed, that you are failing constantly. As a person, no less. Alternatively, it can stop you from taking on challenges in the first place, which reinforces the same idea. Incidentally, I’ve noticed that perfectionism is often behind chronic procrastination.
To summarize, perfectionism tends to make people feel like poop. Save perhaps for those brief moments when you get that A+ or when your friend compliments you on your car looking immaculate despite your corgi being an unstoppable shedding machine.
Given the above, it is really not surprising perfectionism has been found to play a role in various mental health problems, such as such as generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, depression, PTSD, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and somatoform disorders (Rozental, 2020).
I would encourage you to reflect on the pros and cons of perfectionism in your life. What does it do for you? And what are the costs? If perfectionism is unhelpful, what might be a more helpful alternative?
References and recommended readings:
Rozental, A. (2020). Beyond perfect? A case illustration of working with perfectionism using cognitive behavior therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 76: 2041– 2054.
Shafran, R., Egan, S., & Wade, T. (2018) Overcoming Perfectionism 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using scientifically supported cognitive behavioural techniques. Robinson.
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